Single Gals, Please Hang Back and Let the Man Lead – You Can’t Go Wrong Regardless of the mistakes Ken made, it’s your job as a woman to manage some of the dating mechanics.
I love coaching men because I learn so much about how they think to share with all of you!
Recently, my client Ken told me about a woman he just met online.
The first date was on a Saturday night, lasted for about six hours and went very well.
Ken found her to be a lot of fun to talk to and really enjoyed her company. This is a man who has done his healing after divorce and wants a long-term, loving, relationship with the right woman.
(Ken and I have some work to do because first dates should never last this long.)Let me share background on Ken. Since he liked Sandra a lot, he made a second date at the end of the first. She is not managing her enthusiasm and letting the man lead during the initial courtship.
He suggested getting together a week later on Sunday night which Sandra was happy to accept. Sandra made a series of what I call “Fatal Errors” that caused her to look over eager and a little bit desperate.Here is my advice as a dating coach for women in midlife (or at any age really)1. When Ken arrived at the designated meeting place for date two, Sandra had not one but two gifts for him.Don’t call him in the beginning She couldn’t wait the eight days for the second date that Ken set up. They had talked about favorite books and wine, so she bought him one of each.4. There is some driving distance between where Sandra and Ken live, so the dates have been longer than usual. You may think I am over reacting but I assure you that I AM NOT. I was flattered that she called and asked me out and I had a good time, but now it feels like too much to be seeing her again so soon.So she took matters into her own hands and called him. While Sandra had Ken on the phone, she asked him out for Thursday night, creating her own second date. This is what Ken said to me after the second date.“Well now I have my third date in a week coming up. I mean it was nice and all but I felt uncomfortable. I just started dating online and want to meet other women, so now what do I do?Some men feel like you are invading their private space when you do this so it’s a risk.2. I’m not sure I want to spend that much time with her so quickly. ”In truth, Ken played a role in some of these mistakes. – He accepted her date request rather than waiting.– He didn’t go slow at first to avoid letting things get serious too quickly.