C., sometimes referred to as the “ultimate hookup spot.” Still, sexual liberation is a tricky thing, especially for the women: by breaking from tradition, especially in a society where men may want to have sex with you but marry someone more “pure,” how free can you truly be?That is, what can you do, without being considered a “slut”?“Doing anything that could potentially taint your reputation, whether it be something as simple as dating or moving out of the house, sometimes seems not even worth it,” says Lena (not her real name), a 26-year-old in Brooklyn.
But it isn’t all tall, handsome doctors (that’s stereotypically what a Muslim girl should hope for) and buffets.
Conversations with a dozen first-generation Muslim-Americans in New York City (several more declined to be interviewed) reveal a more nuanced scene.
In fact, it isn’t much different from what happens in “normal” American dating. Sex that sometimes happens at that same, perfume-soaked religious event in D.
Talk to young Muslim-Americans about dating today, and they’ll tell you that the hookup culture is a lot like Linked In.
It’s defined by awkward messages, questionable etiquette, and the unshakable feeling that you shouldn’t be doing what you’re doing.
Actually, it isn’t really a “hookup culture” at all in the traditional sense (“sex without emotional entanglement”).Instead, for the majority, it’s the hunt for a husband or wife.Still, something resembling dating does inevitably take place.While there’s no line in the Quran that explicitly says that dating is haram (Arabic for “sinful”), what happens in modern dating—an unchaperoned rendezvous between a man and a woman and everything after that—isn’t exactly condoned.Talk to mainstream media publications about Muslim dating today, and they’ll tell you that millennial Muslims—those who came of age after 9/11 and the Arab Spring—are “just like us!” It’s fashionable to investigate the supremely awkward speed-dating scene at religious conferences.